But I digress. About the male lead: I totally respect a film that opens with grief and past trauma. It gives you a better springboard from which you can understand the character. But…there’s a fine line between “emotionally complex protagonist” and “dude…um, do you need to sit down? Maybe some water?”. Our boy Will walks that line for a good twenty minutes. I’m just saying, you know?

Let’s keep going.

About the party. This event was located in the California hills, somewhere. That was horror in and of itself. I don’t like going out into old crazy country without a sure way of getting out of there. I bet it would take a half hour to get a cab or an Uber!

However, remember where we are. This is a classic horror setup, and I love to see it. A remote location with winding roads? No sure, easy way of escape? And…dinner party guests who seem absolutely lovely? We all know what’s going to pop off next.

Anyhoo, what a bunch of weirdos at the party. As soon as all the characters get together, there’s a general feeling of unease. The folks seem loving and accommodating, but there is something just off about the entire gathering. The man finds strange things around his ex-wife’s house. In addition, we are subjected to hazy flashbacks about their shared past. Nothing super strange. It seemed more of a character reveal than anything. Normal, right?

But however normal this unfolding of Will’s character is, it’s still quietly terrifying. It’s a feeling you can’t quite put your finger on, and the director gives you no jump scares to release the tension. There’s no ominous music to give you an aural cue of when to become scared. It’s like having a guest in your home that gives you the creeps…but they’ve been perfectly lovely. The dinner party atmosphere will send chills up your spine, and you won’t know why.

As the film rolls on we eventually realize that there is something going on, and it bubbles over the surface in a shocking scene. Obviously, I won’t give it away, but I will say I was glued to the screen until the end.

Just when you thought you chose the wrong What I will say is this: when it hits, it hits fast and hard and with zero apology. I may have said some words out loud to my empty living room. I may have replayed a scene twice just to confirm what I thought I saw. I’m not confirming or denying. Moving on.

The film starts quite slow and threatens to lose the viewers’ interest. But I advise you to stick with it and go along for the ride. The ending will make you sit back in your seat, mouth open and head shaking. Additionally, this movie will keep you from going to any strange dinner parties in isolated areas, I promise you that.

If you need things jumping out of dark corners every ten minutes, this is not your cuppa joe. But if you’re willing to sit and pay attention, you will be rewarded.

It’s worth that slow beginning. I promise you.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW
Synopsis: Tensions rise within an asbestos cleaning crew as they work in an abandoned mental hospital with a horrific past that seems to be coming back.

Boo!!

I do love movies. Older movies, awesome. Newer movies, not so much. I take that as a sign of the times. Most of the movies do not target my demographic as a woman of a certain age, so I don’t fault them in the fact that they don’t reach me or that I may consider most of them kind of …ridiculous. I’m no longer part of the teenage/early twenties crowd, and many of the actors I admire and look for in a film are, gulp, retired. (or, gasp… dead)

But sometimes there comes a movie that’s not so flashy, not so over-promoted to the point where you’re sick of it. It’s a quiet movie someone mentions on social media and gives you just enough hints to draw one’s interests.

Session 9 is one of those movies.

David Caruso is the biggest name in this movie. I’m no Caruso fan, but “abandoned mental hospital” had me rubbing my hands together in glee

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The film involves an asbestos removal crew comprised of what people would call pretty ordinary Joes. The company seems to be on the edge of folding — there is a lot of talk about shut downs and how the asbestos business is drying up — regular folks with regular problems and families. Somebody’s going with someone else’s ex-girlfriend, someone else needs money for bills. The catalyst is the mental hospital where all these bubbling personal issues come to a head.

While I do enjoy the movies which take the most cliched characters of all time and dump them into trouble within the first ten to twenty minutes of running time, there’s something to be said about a slow build of horror/disquiet coming at the expense of a character who works for a living and hefts a Miller at the end of the week. Chances are, if you asked this guy if he believed in ghosts or spirits, he would laugh in your face. The only thing this guy believes in is a steady paycheck. And why not? Ghosts and spirits don’t pay the bills.

This is what’s at play here in Session 9. These are hard working men, barely able to pay their bills. The air of desperation to finish the job in record time is thick around them. However, the mental hospital (much like the Overlook Hotel in The Shining), has other plans for them, and these plans have nothing to do with asbestos abatement, nor getting the mortgage paid on time.

The setting couldn’t be a better one. The hospital is eerily frozen in time, as if everyone was ushered out of there at once, with no time to pack their things or tidy the rooms. Some of the patients rooms still have newspaper clippings and disturbing illustrations pasted to the peeling walls. Operating rooms still hold the tools for surgeries other procedures performed on unwilling patients. There’s nothing creepier than old rusted surgical tools still lying in the tray.

The performances by the (mostly) male cast are quite good, and their working class chatter and sniping at each other rings authentic, adding another layer of reality. I mean, this hospital is just a place where they’re taking out the asbestos, right? There shouldn’t be anything to fear….just another job that might put them in the black for the time being, right? Right?

I won’t give too much of the movie away, but suffice to say Session 9 delivers on creepiness, shadows, jump scares, and gross-out factors. It’s slow, but it’s steady and satisfying.

Five Honeypots, highly recommended.

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Some horror movies want to scare you, but of course, that’s their job, right? Everyone loves a good scare. But Exhibit A, with its homey vibe and handheld camera…it wants to hollow you out. It wants to plant a seed of doubt about everything that you usually trust and love. It succeeds…with a smile on its face.

I found this little British found footage film on one of the websites I frequent looking for horror films that aren’t your usual “slash and grab”. I’m a huge fan of found footage: my comfort food, if you will…as long as I watch them mid-afternoon, so there’s loooooots of time to (sort of) forget what I saw before I turn off the lights. Listen, I love found footage so much that I’ll sit through shaky cam bad enough to make me reach for the Dramamine. (Spoiler: sometimes this works out for me and sometimes not.)

I will tell you one thing. Exhibit A understood the assignment. All the honeypots for that.

The setup is ordinary, even mundane. Mom, Dad, teenage daughter, and teenage son. We’re in Yorkshire. There’s a new video camera and the driver of the story, a promotion Dad didn’t actually get. That’s the lit cigarette tossed into the gasoline. You settle in expecting something familiar — maybe an intruder, maybe something that goes bump in the night, maybe a threat that comes from outside. Then, the “fractured family” comes together to defeat the outside threat and becomes whole again, right? Right???

It doesn’t come from outside. Oh stars in heaven, it does not. And we, the viewers, are in on it, whether we like it or not. We….KNOW.

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I did not mind the classic “film myself in the mirror” trick. I mean, enough of us do that with our phones, for sure. Sometimes in these films, classic is best. So I kept watching. And oh, boy, does the film earn it in the creepiest, methodically relentless way possible.

There’s something about Andy, the father at the center of this slo-m0 catastrophe. He’s not a monster; nothing he really does gives the impression of being on the edge. However, he is a man in a crisply ironed shirt who’s carrying a secret that’s eating him alive, and his performance is quietly devastating. You watch with your hand over your mouth like…Dude…just tell them, it’s okay! The little things he does pile up like snow, one soft flake at a time, but like snow, all of a sudden you’re up to your neck.

When the train finally leaves the tracks, it’s…well, let’s just say I was a bit…shocked. I did not think the film was going to take it that way…but it did. It’s that moment in the film where everything changes, and there’s no hope that this fractured family will ever come together. The call was coming from inside the house.

There were some folks, critics, I suppose, who felt the film was unbelievable. Hmmm. Methinks these folks haven’t really watched the news on and off. Nah, not overblown at all, and that’s the horror of it. Real horror doesn’t jump scare. It slides into the seat next to you and offers you a drink.

The last scene…was heartbreaking. Exhibit A is daylight horror, except the victims don’t see it coming.

I watched this movie in the early morning/afternoon and it stayed with me through dinner.

I probably won’t ever watch it again.

4 and 1/2 honeypots out of 5.

So tell me, have you seen this? Are you a found footage fan? Any suggestions for my next watch?

So first of all: hi, new subscriber. Your timing is impeccable. A+ haunting. 👻🐝

Second: welcome (back) to The Horror Honey. It’s my little corner of the internet where I can indulge my horror “WTF did I just watch?” side, deliver one-take reviews with fluffy snark, and lovingly roast movies that deserve it.

But remember, above all, I’m a horror movie fan. However, I don’t get down and dirty with films like The Terrifier, Human Centipede, or any “torture for torture’s sake” movies. No shade to those who dig that vibe: It’s just not my cuppa dark roast coffee.

Here’s what you can expect:

• horror movie reviews (especially found footage, wilderness horror, and creature features)

• quick “DNF Dispatch” posts when I bail on something truly unhinged (no guilt, only self-care)

• occasional “Surprise Snack” reviews when a movie is better than the internet says it is

• a general commitment to asking the important questions, like:
  “Why are you still filming?” and “Who packed a ukulele for this camping trip?”

To kick things off, I just watched Vicious and ended up liking it more than I expected — not because it’s flawless, but because the ending actually does something interesting with fear and survival. And I also started Don’t Go in the Woods (2010) expecting a chase-y slasher… and got ambushed by a horror musical I could not emotionally survive. (DNF. I left the woods.)

If you’re reading this: say hi in the comments and tell me your favorite kind of horror (found footage? monsters? haunted houses? “friends go on a trip and regret everything”?). I’m always taking recommendations — and I promise to suffer through at least some of them on your behalf.

Cheers and happy horror watching!

— Dee

On the other hand, if you watch enough movies, as I do, you can sometime find some gems hidden in the coal-dusted rubble. I’m not saying these are diamond, but they’re a lot better than the usual fare found in the horror genre.  

For this blog post, I’m going to be writing about Butterfly Kisses, an Amazon Prime offering.  Amazon Prime has a LOT of horror movies, and it takes a patient soul (like me) to wade through the chaff to get to the pure grain of the good movies.  

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you’ll know I have preference for found-footage horror.  Some like potted meat, I like found footage horror.  While I love the genre, found footage can be a serious hit or miss.  Basically, some of the worse I’ve seen are like some of the ghost hunting shows on cable, complete with boring parts.

However, every once in a while, I get lucky and find a mediocre to good found footage horror film that doesn’t have a lot of heavy breathing and people asking “what’s that”? 

Butterfly Kisses is a found footage horror film resting on an interesting premise: a film within a film.  A filmmaker discovers a box of tapes in his home.  These tapes depict the project of two film students who were investigating a local urban legend call the Peeping Tom.  The bulk of the film is this filmmaker trying to prove that this legend is true while he sifts through the footage the students left behind. There’s two stories running: the filmmaker in the “present time” and the students “in the past”. 

All in all, it was a pretty interesting movie. I liked the multiple layers of the film and the subplots which weaved in and out of the narrative.  There was very little shaky-cam and a few good jump scares.  I actually watched the movie twice to catch all the little details that came into play later.  

Certainly, it’s a theme/plot device that’s been addressed before in numerous movies and shows, but the execution in this movie is pretty good.  The acting is decent and there are some parts which are actually kind of touching/sad.   

Not to wax overly philosophical, but the film also brings up themes of what is real/what is not, and how far one is willing to go for a vision and/or belief.  

Give Butterfly Kisses a try.  While it’s not a great film, I’ve seen a lot worse.   

Grade:  B+ 

Synopsis:

When a vintage Jack-in-the-box is un-earthed and opened, its new owners soon have reason to believe the creepy clown doll within has a life of its own. (from imdb.com)

Genre: Horror

Opinion:

The creepy clown doll has more life than this movie. Not recommended. Read on to find out why.

The movie opens with an older fellow in a field with a metal detector. We horror movie veterans know he’s going to find something he shouldn’t which is going to wreak havoc for the rest of the movie. What does he find? Well, true horror fans, you’ll be pleased to know he finds the creepiest Jack in the Box ever. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of things that jump out of boxes, and this clown is super creepy. But let’s face it folks if it weren’t so scary looking then it wouldn’t be a horror movie now would it?

This opening sequence has very little dialogue but it does have a lot of action and right off the bat we’re privy to what the occupant of the box actually does. I like when horror movies like this do that. It lets the audience know what to expect from the movie monster and all we’re doing is watching to see who gets it first and how.

The movie’s protagonist is some milquetoast dude named Casey and he is supposedly an American. But I will tell you this, he neither looks nor acts like any American I’ve ever seen in any horror movie ever. While I suspect the actor himself is not American I’m not going to quibble about their casting choice. the real movie opens 12 years later after the opening sequence in a Toy Museum. apparently the Jack-in-the-Box has found its way there and sits in the storeroom just waiting to claim its next victim.

Note: The box has four letters along the top and when it is first revealed the letters spell DYBK (I think, I couldn’t be arsed to rewind, so if I’m wrong let me know in the comments), which immediately made me think of the Dybbuk box. Just a side note to show how horribly detail oriented I am. Also, how less than impressed I was with the acting.

After the movie gets going with a bit of character development and backstory, we find out the history of the Jack in the box, which I thought was rather interesting. I love the “expert”: a black dude who comes in, gives his lines, and disappears into the “night”. Very cool part. (Also, he wasn’t around to die.)

I went along with the ride of the movie until about a half hour in, then I became annoyed. There was a lack of …..time passage? I didn’t know how much time passed between scenes. Characters appeared and disappeared without explanation. The main example of this is the woman who worked at the toy museum before Casey got there. She hangs around long enough for the story to get started, then she’s just….gone. She does come back later in the movie, but it’s just odd the way the movie rolls out.

Through the obligatory internet search, we find out about the Jack in the Box and the evil contained within.

What I also found interesting about this movie was the number of people who took the time to pause, stare, and speak to this creepy looking exhibit. Plus, though they seemed to be put off by it, they had no problem insulting it! Personally, I see something like that, I’m walking right by that mess.

All in all it’s not a great movie. I watched the rest of it just to see how things turned out, but as I mentioned, I had checked out thirty minutes in.

After much ado, I did finish it. Sigh. Unfortunately, good premise,but poor execution. In fact, on some levels it was rather boring. There was some stabbing, some yelling and some Latin. I’m telling you, I was so done with this film, I didn’t even bother to rewind to hear the Latin words. I….didn’t care.

Questions and quibbles:

1. What was the point of the protagonist being from America? Except for a visit to an American-type diner, this wasn’t mentioned at all. He just as well could have been from France or Canada or Mexico. Also, they never mentioned a state….just “America”.

2. In the diner, the glasses of soda they are served have no ice and the glasses are dirty. Also, the straws are already unwrapped and put in the glass. Yuk.

3. Most of the women did not carry purses. I’m sorry, but it’s super rare to see a woman without a purse or a fanny pack or something. (Yes, it’s a small detail, which is why it’s a quibble, LOL)

4. The protagonist’s backstory was like….wut? It didn’t set him up as sympathetic.

I will say the special effects/costuming of the monster clown was effective and creepy. They did put a lot of work into it and it was done very well.

That’s all folks. I’m sorry this movie wasn’t good and wasn’t bad enough to be fun. It was tedious, illogical, and seemed strung together. Again, great premise, poor execution. The script needed a lot of work.

Following this, and based upon a comment from one of my Facebook friends, I compiled a list of horror/scary movies in black and white that you may enjoy.  Where possible, I’ve placed the date and time it’s on the air, but otherwise, I’m sure you can find them on either a streaming service or even on YouTube. 

When I was a seventies child, these movies were perfect for a rainy Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and were scary enough to keep you awake with some nightmares for sure!  So without further ado, here’s my list.

Note: I’ve added fr*e streaming links where I could. Sometimes it’s better just to buy the DVD, to be honest.

1.     The Thing from Another World (1951) – I actually didn’t see this movie until I was an adult, and while it wasn’t super scary, it really creeped me out.  James Arness is the “Thing” and at his height of 6’6” he was able to tower menacingly over the rest of the cast. A must watch for classic movie lovers. Available on archive.org.

2.     The Invisible Man (1933) – Long before Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon, there was Claude Rains as the Invisible Man.  This was Rains’s American film debut. Available here.

3.     Cat People (1942) – Built around a woman who is cursed to turn into a panther, this movie is said to be the origin of the “jump scare”.  It’s a moody, atmospheric piece that is both well-acted and well-written. Watch here.

4.     The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) –  The screenplay was written by Richard Matheson, based upon his novel of the same name.  Exposed to both pesticides and radiation (poor fellow), the title character begins shrinking and no one can help him.  I remember the battle with the cat as well as another “monster” that I won’t mention here. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t find a place where it’s streaming free.

5.     House on Haunted Hill (1959) – The setup is simple. A millionaire offers 10k to be locked in a haunted house (presumably also located on a haunted hill) overnight.  Seems simple right? But the house may have other plaaaaaans. It stars Vincent Price, which should be enough to compel you to watch it. Available on TubiTv.

6.     Them! (1954) – Ants affected by none other than atomic testing, invade a New Mexico town with disastrous results. Great giant monster movie! Couldn’t find a non-paid stream of this.

7.     Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931) – Starring Frederic March. Watch it here.

8.     The Uninvited (1944) – If you’re a fan of haunted house/ghost stories, then this film starring Ray Milland (of Dial M for Murder) is for you. Slow, creeping horror.

9.     The Night of the Hunter (1955) – More Gothic horror than supernatural horror, The Night of the Hunter is full of dread and gloom, enhanced by its stark black and white presentation.  Robert Mitchum is the supposedly “God-fearing” preacher with LOVE and HATE tattooed on his knuckles. Scary and picturesque.

10.   Night of the Living Dead (1968) – No B&W horror movie list would be complete this super classic.  Watch online here.

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